I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Randomize