Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
home. puking in laundry basket.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
