Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
