have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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