btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
