I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Randomize
