And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
i came on her dog
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
