Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
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