I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Randomize
