why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Randomize
