I love black thongs
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
