Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
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