I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
