Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
