Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
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