nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
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