i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
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