yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
You did what with his pubic hair?
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