I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
I wish life had little blips of pornography
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I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
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