I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Randomize
