dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
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