She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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