ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
I think a kid would responsible me up
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
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