I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
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