I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
