I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
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