Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
