We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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