the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
