Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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