If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
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