dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Randomize
