If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize
