I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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