gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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