you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Randomize
