Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
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