If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
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