I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
