I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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