I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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