Sry I called you an 8
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
COCAINE IS GR8
Randomize
