I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Randomize
