Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
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