I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
