I must be too annoying 4 u.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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