I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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