You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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