We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
