if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
Barsexuality is the new black.
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So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
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