I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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