Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Randomize
