suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
