saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Randomize
