I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
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